THE PENIS NEEDS THE VAGINA!

How Acceptance Of Our Dependence Helps Us!

A few weeks ago, my wife had to leave early in the morning with our third child who was sick to the hospital.

Before leaving, she gave me an instruction – take care of the kids!

I was left with my fist son, Best, and daughter, Adaeze.

Our maid had left for the Christmas holidays, so there was no other female at home.

I had to bathe the kids myself. I’d been bathing Best, but I’d never bathed Adaeze since she was born more than two years ago.

Bathing her came with a dilemma. I had to fight with her splashing water on her hair and licking the toothpaste.

But when I began sponging her body and reached her vagina, I felt tingles in my body. I didn’t know whether to wash inside it or skirt around it.

Damn, I eventually splashed water around it. Phew!

Before leaving the house, I gave instructions to my wife’s cousin living with us to tell my wife to redo the bath because I knew my wife would take care of the vaginal area better than I did.

 

You see, as a married man, there are times I crave to travel away from my home and just be with people who fuss over me.

Whenever I travel to Lagos or my parent’s home, I’m treated like a kid – food brought to me, bathing water prepared, and expenditure being made on my head.

At such times, I feel dependent on someone else. It’s such a beautiful experience feeling like a child, away from the shoulders of responsibility imposed on me by fatherhood.

After that bathing experience, I began to think of dependence. I was dependent on my wife to bathe our daughter properly.

To so many, I’ve come to see that dependence feels like a loss of power to them.

I’ve been with clients who fight so hard to relinquish authority to someone else in the organisation or assign roles when their businesses have started growing into a bigger body.

They struggle because they feel that others can’t do what they’re doing so excellently.

When I began thinking, I thought of the penis and the vagina.

I thought of how many times my penis went into the vagina of my wife and deposited valuable material that led to the formation and birth of our children.

I’m a man who needs a woman’s womb to sire progenitors.

I screamed in my thoughts – the penis needs the vagina!

 

I remember in 2015, a year before I resigned. I felt that the graphic designers I had at the time couldn’t correctly translate my thoughts into graphic designs. I went off to learn how to design using Corel Draw.

Boy, that’s how I knew that the 10,000-hour rule wasn’t a joke. The day I spent 4 hours sitting on my butt, zooming in and zooming out, trying to connect nodes and make a meaning of the design, I threw in the towel.

I gave up. No how in the world I was going to spend all my days doing designs for hours when I had to focus on my key game – writing.

As your vision begins to lift from the obscurity of unseen paths, you need the arms and legs of others.

Investment in other people is a given.

Investing in other people is not necessarily money.

For me, it’s as powerful as writing a review for Alex Mimi (a quintessential plus-size diva) and Agabus Agboye (CEO of Chow Country and Port Harcourt’s fastest rising chef)

Investing in other people’s lives is as simple as providing a listening ear when someone wants to unburden without the feeling of being reprimanded.

Investing in other people this way is what helps me do meetings in faraway places like Jos without stepping in there first to check things out.

 

Working with people does something superb to you. It helps you master your emotions and the emotions of others.

At the granular level of this kind of relationship is marriage. I can tell you because I’ve been married for over 9 years.

When I was single, I loved keeping my books prim and proper. Till date I hate seeing books untidy. I love to read a book, keep it open to a page and return to it the next day on my table, untouched, starting off from where I stopped.

I hated sharing my books. I’m exclusive when it comes to my books, shielding it away from ‘invaders’. LOL.

Marriage kinda changed things. Seeing hairs from weave-ons and sometimes undies hanging around my bookshelf taught me mastery of emotions.

It was needless arguing with my wife and engaging in verbal fights. I adapted. I began accepting sharing my books. I mastered my emotions when it comes to that aspect of my life.

The same can happen to you when you begin to learn dependence that comes from working with people.

And it’s very possible.